I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You are a genius and a whore.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
