I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
