When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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