i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Floor bacon is actually really good
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
