The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
