i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
