good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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