good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize