So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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