its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
