my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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