I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
