just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
dude. I can hear the air.
You left your phone here
Wait...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
