He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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