Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
