i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
