I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
