the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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