i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
