Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
even my farts smell like vagina
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
