you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
