Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
