I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize