i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
