You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
