Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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