Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
then he tried to convert me to islam
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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