i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
