just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
