No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
