she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When are your genitals available?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
