So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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