apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
