I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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