hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
