Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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