Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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