Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
