How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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