You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
