I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
