I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
