You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize