the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize