I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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