2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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