is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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