I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize