explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
