3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
