oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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