just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
