oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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