The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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