You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
