I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Porn is love you can see.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
