He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
