I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
