I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
