Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
